Pizza Week 2015, Day 2: A Disaster

I thought I’d have fun experimenting, but, as the old saying goes, if ain’t broke don’t fix it. And pizza ain’t broke. So why oh why did I have to play around with it?

2015-2-18 Vegan Crockpot Pizza FAIL
I thought it would be really cool to make pizza in a crock pot. Seemed kind of neat – you just stick the ingredients in, cover it, and forget it for two or three hours. And then you have pizza!

2015-2-18 Vegan Crockpot Pizza FAIL2
What a miracle. You mean I only have to wait two or three hours for crock pot pizza instead of waiting 12 minutes for pizza to bake in the oven?! And, um, you mean the pizza will stick to the liberally-greased crock pot even though that never happens with the pizza pan?
2015-2-18 Vegan Crockpot Pizza FAIL3
And I’ll have to pry it out with a spatula and destroy the pizza in the process? Yeah. Yeah, this sounds like fun. Now I understand why most of the crock pot pizza recipes I found were just casseroles with pasta for the base. There was one with canned biscuits for crust. And one lone recipe that used an actual pizza dough similar to mine, and she swore it turned out great, and she didn’t mention parchment paper or anything,

2015-2-18 Vegan Crockpot Pizza FAIL4
or the fact the crust fluffs up like bread on the inside, and sort of has the texture of a dense cake. I ate fluffy pizza. But the worst part was the kalamata olives, and I don’t get this, but…I had one out of the jar and it was fine. But after they cooked in the crock pot, they sort of tasted like they’d been soaking in booze. They even burned on the way down. WHAT IS THAT?

I ate one piece because I had to in order to complete the experiment. At least the sauce was yummy and it went well with the Daiya Provolone I used. At first I thought I’d wait to post this until I perfected the recipe, but after thinking about it and being unable to come up with any good reason to wait hours for pizza instead of minutes, I think this is it for crock pot pizza and me.

0 thoughts on “Pizza Week 2015, Day 2: A Disaster

  1. I did some searching and learned that ripe olives need to be soaked in lye to make them edible. So maybe that’s it. Lye would certainly burn. Here’s an article about the process http://ruhlman.com/2009/10/how-to-cure-olives/ There is food grade lye, but after reading this I’m not sure I’ll be eating them anymore unless they come from Greece. They don’t use Lye. I read about in the comments to this article. Very interesting. So I can still eat them just need to know where they come from and how they’re prepared.

    • The other thing I like about big fails is it’s fun to write about them and make fun of myself 🙂 Live and learn.
      By the way, I’m having fun catching up on your adventures in Poland!

  2. The fluffy part was what got me. I can’t remember now – it was too long ago, maybe it was a teen-age cooking experiment? But anyway, I ate fluffy pizza once, and it was just wrong. My brain could not cope with the categorization problem. It kept saying “But it’s not cake – not cake – doesn’t taste like cake – why doesn’t it taste like cake??”

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